wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
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