He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
