just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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