And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
