i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Randomize