He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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