Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
