do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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