Buhtt sex?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
