Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
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