piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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