it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
