I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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