Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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