Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
