Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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