She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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