do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize