uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
