I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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