Im at strip club and am horny
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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