I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
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