I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
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