I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Randomize
