escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Randomize
