Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
