Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
