and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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