Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
