I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
