I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
