Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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