I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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