i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize
