I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I haven't been this sober since birth.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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