Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
