is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize