called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
