: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
So apparently I’m into choking now
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
