the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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