no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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