So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
false alarm, still single
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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