so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
