Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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