I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
