he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Randomize
