I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
