If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
