i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
