Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
