the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
