so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
