Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy