Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?