the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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