Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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