dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
you win again, gameday.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
