You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
